Some Wisdom

I am in the midst of reading a dear friend's journal - it is astounding - but I found some words in it, that I am going to put here - give full credit to H. for them - they are perfect! There are days that I am home and the phone never rings. I have had people say they are coming by for a visit - and they don't show. My email inbox is just full of jokes (not that this is a bad thing).


To our friends:

1. We want to know that you care. Tell us, phone write us, hug us.

2. Cards and flowers are visible symbols of your caring. Cards especially are keepers. We relish them.

3. We are living with cancer, not dying from it. Treat us the same as you always did.

4. Don't be afraid to talk to us about the disease and the treatment. We're not. We will be honest. Honesty comes with the territory. Then, lets get past it and be ourselves.

5. Please don't drop by unannounced. By calling first,we will have the option as to whether or not we feel up to seeing you. We may have had a bad day or we may be dealing with a really serious matter and need to work through it. I may be tired.

6. If you have problems and want to talk about them, don't think that they are insignificant next to ours. We care about you too. We need to be helpful in order to be worthy of your friendship. There is no need to deny us the opportunity to demonstrate our love for you. It will make us feel good to help. It will also allow us to see that we are not the only people in the world with problems.

7. Listen to our cues. If we tell you that we don't want to talk about something, please stop.

8. We need lots of hugs and squeezes.

So, there it is.... I know this has been said before, but we really do miss people calling and coming to visit. I may have cancer, but I am still me and that is not going to change!

Roni and Brian