Friday, July 11, 2008

Some thoughts from Roni


Hello Everyone,

Figured it was time I got some time on here!

I am amazed, honoured and at times embarrassed from all of the loving and wonderful support I have seen here since Meghan started this blog. I am blown away.

And for this, I thank each and every single person. Especially my husband Brian – thank you for the words that you wrote yesterday – and yes you made me cry - they were beautiful words! And for your love and support you have given me and the tears we have shared and there have been a few of them! Thank you to my children – Shannon, Meghan and Patrick, for their love and support. You are amazing adults - you have more strength within you than you know. I am so very proud of you and I know your Dad is too (Rick for those of you who do not know). The four of you are the most important people in my life and you better remember that!

I know that some people have been afraid to approach me or call me as they don’t know what to say or how to react. It is easy – Hi, Roni, how are you? And I will tell you. I won’t say I am fine – that is a cop-out. I will tell you it is going ok
that I am taking it one day at a time. I can’t change things that have happened and some of the things in the future I cannot change either. But I will keep a positive attitude and hope that others will follow. The positive energy that I get from some people is amazing.

I am still me. That hasn’t changed. Some things inside have changed. Yes, I am scared – more scared of the unknown. I know that this time it will be a hell of a battle. But ya know, I will win! Cancer picked the wrong Irish woman to try and pick on – it is going to get its ass whooped (in words of my adopted daughter Lindsay!). I try and not look at the what ifs – can’t do anything about them – just worry what I am going to make for dinner or do for the weekend (painting this one – volunteers please!).

People have asked me why I am still working. The answer is simple – I am not sick, I have a disease. And I love working (and a minor detail, we need the money!!) with the people at Impark – they are an awesome bunch. And for people who know me, I would go nuts at home – and I will have enough time to do that in the months ahead!

So, if you want to call, go for it, I will welcome your calls. You want to stop over for a cuppa tea that is great – we can sit outside in my garden. We can go for a short walk too. Once treatment starts, I may or may not want company or to talk to people. I am not being mean just need to be alone - ya don't want to be around me when I am throwing up! I will have a “team” of people who will be looking after me. Don’t be insulted if I don’t take your calls right away, I will get to them, all in time. And you know me, I love to talk!

Brian was asking when people were going to start to make us food for the freezer…..LOL…… some people have offered to do that and I think that is great. But not quite yet. See, we both have our sense of humour.

Shannon, on the day we found out the cancer had come back, and I were talking in her back yard whilst having just a little wine – about wigs – and she says, I should get lots of funky ones… different colours and styles… So watch out Brian, you could have a different woman each night!

Brian and I will be heading to see the thoracic surgeon on Wednesday at 8:30, to find out what we are dealing with – exactly where the cancer is and maybe how much. She will have booked the biopsy and of course will let me know which one. And then 5 days after the biopsy, I will go and see the oncologist and he will let me know what the game plan is going to be and what sort of fight I will have to get prepared for.

So, that is it for me. I love reading the comments – I do go in daily to see what is there…. And please, sign your name, so I can thank you – there is one in here that I have no idea who it is from!

Love
Roni/Mom

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Veronica,
I thought of you this morning when I read the following message on my inspirational Calendar:

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
Joshua J. Marine

I know that you are fully aware of what makes life meaningful, so this challenge will most likely strengthen your resolve to meet this battle head-on with your up-beat nature and determination.

As always Veronica, I'm sending positive thoughts your way and I hope the Irish angels and leprechauns help you beat this hideous disease.

Love and hugs,
Anne

Anonymous said...

Hi Roni
Just popping by to say hello and send a hug. So glad the scan went well - I'm not fond of small spaces myself. I think no liking enclosed spaces may be part of your 'no-limits' attitude toward life. You go girl!!
hugs, Mavis

Anonymous said...

Hi Honey I'm Home!! The Coast was beautiful..but crazy windy. I've been thinking about you. Thanks for the birthday wishes..have to hook up for a tea/nip of wine soon.
Hello to the hubby,
Hugs,
Karen

Anonymous said...

Hi Roni, I think it is amazing that you are able to share such a personal experience so openly, and I thank you for that. I don't know Brian, but by the words he wrote yesterday I do believe you have found your soul mate. (and yes I teared up too)You have an army of supporters around you, and a terrific outlook. I am keeping you all in my prayers and look forward to the good reports in the days weeks to come! Sending you a smile and a hug,
Love Rae

Anonymous said...

Hello Roni, You are brave and beautiful, inside and out. You have a great spirit and a wonderful loving family that will see you through this. You are a inspiration to us all, and we are your cheering section. Take care hugs Sandraikhto

BCSugar said...

Great message, Roni!! It was nice to see it from you on this site, even though it kinda caught me by surprise...

I'm glad you were able to tell people not to be afraid to call you or write, maybe that will help some make that first attempt.

I have to admit that your attitude this time around is much, much different (better) than what I remember from last time - perhaps these trials make you stronger (and more stubborn - who, you?? lol)...

I know it's tougher for us to be in touch while we're away, but we're always on email and FB - just a click away...

You're always in our thoughts and prayers - stay strong!! We're counting on you to stick around for many, many moons to come...

Chantal & Rick

Anonymous said...

Hey Roni, it's Ragnar. I'm sorry for your diagnosis....well, not sorry for you......just the cancer ;)

My family has quite a history of it, and I know the road ahead of you is going to be dotted with challenges. As I told Patrick, you have a great support group of family and friends. This is very important.

My family's thoughts and prayers are with you. Let me or Pat know if there is anything we can do for you.

All the best!

Anonymous said...

Hi Roni
Can't sleep - but that's always a good time to remember the people who need good thoughts and prayers.

I've been thinking about your painting project this weekend - hope it turns out just the way you want it!!
Mavis

Anonymous said...

I'll see you soon Beautiful! Keep strong, and maybe we'll have a drink or two once I'm home. (No tea, we need some strong stuff) :)

Love You

Anonymous said...

Hi again Roni
I hope you don't mind my posting this here as well as in the group on Facebook. There is a site that I came across that contributes money to breast cancer research.

http://www.realdairy.ca/

Anyone can go to the site and plant a virtual tulip for someone that they want to recognize. Judging by your FB profile, you love flowers, so no matter what the season, you can tulips at your fingertips. It would be fun to see you get a whole darn truckload!
ciao for now, Mavis

Anonymous said...

Roni,

You are one inspirational woman - you have a strength inside of you that is beyond words!

I have been thinking about you so much these days and I would love to get together if you have time (cause you know how much you and I appreciate a good glass...okay bottle of wine!) ;0)

Love you tons,
Briana

Anonymous said...

Hi Roni,
It's Diane from facebook. I was saddened to hear of your plight, but you have such an upbeat attitude. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. When I was a teenager a popular saying was, "Keep the faith, baby." I thought of it when I read your blog. So, keep the faith, Roni.
Hugs, Diane

Anonymous said...

Hi Roni

Big hugs to you. Thanks for sharing on here. It's a great idea. Keep strong and keep smiling

Lori Shelton

Anonymous said...

For Roni & Brian and your Family

"Hope"

Its Magic & Its Free
Its not in a prescription
Its not in a IV

It punctuates out laughter
It Sparkles in our tears
It simmers under sorrows
and Dissipates our fears

Do you know hope is?
Its reaching past today
Its dreaming of tomorrow
Its trying a new way

Its Questioning All the Answers
And always seeking more"

..........

Kisses and hugs
Jas

Vanessa Z. said...

Roni,
That was beautiful! You are very inspiring. You are in out oorayers each night and we hope that good news will flow your way!
Love, Vanessa